I bite my tongue a lot.
No, no. Not the ‘My mother always told me if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all,’ kind of tongue biting. I mean aggressive tongue biting by accident. I’m known to draw blood while eating or chewing gum. My mind trails off and—WHAM! It’s so frustrating.
It’s one of those things where you take a deep sigh and think, I have no one to blame for this but myself. But it’s something that I can’t stop. This is one of the things that makes me mad at myself. Being angry with myself has a habit of becoming an endless loop. I become so frustrated with my frustration that I end up frustrating to myself.
We’ve all heard those thoughts that repeat themselves. The ones that tell us we’re not trying hard enough. No matter what we do there is already someone out there doing it better than us. The ones that look at other people’s successes and tell you that’s never going to be you.
When I get stuck in these thoughts I remind myself I bite my tongue a lot.
I don’t think there is anyone in the world who sinks their teeth into their own mouth as much as I do. I’m sure I’ve set some sort of record by now if there is a record for this. If not I need to contact the Guinness Book of World Records people, I might be onto something here. If it already exists then I can beat it by leaps, bounds and chomps.
My absentminded chewing makes me unique. Knowing that I do this one thing, that no one else does, reminds me that I’m not walking everyone else’s path. So why should I be judging myself by everyone else’s standards?
So what if I haven’t written a novel, or mustered the courage to perform my poems. Those things don’t matter right now. I will get to them, but I will do it my way.
In the age of social media, we look at the version of people’s lives that they choose to show. Seeing their highlight reel makes us feel like we’re missing something. We forget to stand back and look at ourselves. To appreciate the things we’ve done and how far we’ve come. We’re not like everyone else – so we don’t have to be like everyone else.
So you stub your toe a lot or trip a lot. Maybe you have a habit of staying up until 2 am when you know damn well you need to leave for work by 6 am. You might break iPhones like you have shares in Apple. That’s perfect! These moments remind you that you are who you are.
No one can measure up to you.