Small Boob Problems

No one ever talks about the struggle of having small boobs. All I ever see is “They're always in the way, I swear I can never do anything #bigboobproblems” Please, I wish. I've never been a well endowed woman and that's never been a problem until I'm met with someone who is both chesty and complaining. …

My First World Problem

You’re at a party or a bar or any social setting. Everyone is engaged in great conversation and having a really good time. And then it happens... someone silently points their phone at you to show you something they found on the Internet. They sit there with laughter in their eyes waiting for you to read the text, tweet, meme …

Top Ten Things Pale Girls Hear at the Beach

10.“Oh my god, you're so white!” Thanks, I hadn't noticed. 9.“Wow you can't tan? That would suck.” Pretty sure skin cancer sucks worse. 8."Why don't you just go to tanning beds if you can't tan?” Because lighting my money on fire would be more effective. 7."Why don't you just try spray tan/bronzer?” Because white plus …

Divine Secrets of a Furry Sisterhood.

In conversations with my lady friends over the years, I've discovered two things that no one ever talks about, that we really should. Every time these subjects come up, it's like a breakthrough in therapy. The clouds part and someone shouts “I thought I was the only one!” Tears ensue, and we all feel so …

Lady Voodoo

I cried at work today. Not because I was sad or angry, no. I cried because my cash register was out of quarters. As I hung my head low, counting out change through blurred vision and hoping the customers in line didn't notice, I realized this must be the work of lady voodoo. I guess …

Thirty, Flirty and Failing.

I'm a handful of months into the last year of my twenties, and I've decided that 29 is a very awkward age. In an award ceremony for awkward ages, 29 would come in as runner-up. My teen years win that competition by default thanks to the magic of puberty. Although at 29 you have to deal …