Small Boob Problems

Screenshot_20160726-140058No one ever talks about the struggle of having small boobs. All I ever see is “They’re always in the way, I swear I can never do anything #bigboobproblems

Please, I wish. I’ve never been a well endowed woman and that’s never been a problem until I’m met with someone who is both chesty and complaining. I could go on all day about the struggles of not being blessed with a chest but, to spare you I’ll break this down to my top eight.

8. Bathing Suits. You know when you see eleven year old girls at the beach and think to yourself that it’s really cute that they got their first bikini. This same look is not nearly as cute when you’re thirty.

7. Towels. I have never in my life been able to hold up a towel hands free when I get out of the shower.

6. Bra shopping. Every woman has that one special item of clothing they shop for that will inevitably make them break down and cry in the dressing room, and then go get ice cream. Bras are my Everest, because of my lack of mountain. I’m not an A cup, but not quite a B either. Why are half cup sizes not a thing?

5. Never filling out a dress. They’re right in the waist but loose in the chest. Or fine in the chest but just plain wrong everywhere else. A lot of dresses make it look like my stomach sticks out farther than my boobs do, which leads to more ice cream and crying.

4. Sports bras. Yes, us small-breasted ladies still need them and they compress our boobs to a nearly concave status. But it hurts us to run without them just like everyone else. Especially after all the ice cream.

3. The unavoidable under-wire. Can’t live without it. Also, I’ve always prided myself on being an honest person but bras make me a straight up liar. With the space age technology that goes into me having a believable chest, I’m never able to just get one of the cheap flimsy bras. If you ever see me filling out a shirt, know that it’s all smoke and mirrors.   

2. “You can have mine.” The immediate rebuttal every time I mention this to anyone that actually has a pair. My complaint here is not the statement. It’s that no one has followed through with this promise.

1. The look of disappoint on a man’s face when I take off my bra. Dude, I warned you. Smoke and mirrors my friend. Smoke and mirrors.

5 thoughts on “Small Boob Problems

  1. YES! I actually found some bras the other day that make mine look awesome! So much in fact that I bought matching undies for them! I took my five-year-old with me because I’ve been wearing one bra for months and we were there… seriously, I’ve never loved my boobs like this!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As President For Life (because I always have to be the boss of everything) I officially recognize a fellow member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

    My own mother had such a rack that she had back problems and had to get a reduction, and even after that hers were bigger than mine. She finds this hilarious, which is maybe why I was so busy when she wanted someone to drive her to her appointments. That and the fact that she didn’t even ASK the doctor to offer me the excess.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After being a lifelong member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee it’s so nice to finally meet our president. I didn’t see you at the last meeting.

      I’m not sure the technology currently exists to take someone’s excess boob. But when it does I have a few favours to call in.


  3. As a guy I am actually a fan of small boobs, or really any boons for that matter, and no its not because I’ve sexualized them, or have the thing where guys go brain dead because they just saw a pair. For me it’s do the boons suit that persons body type.
    But hey its your body, edit it how you wish.


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